“Relationships-of all kinds-are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold onto some of it, but most will be spilled. A relationship is like that. Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But hold too tightly, too possessive, and the relationship slips away and is lost.”
At some point in our lives, through fate, chance, timing, and/or something else, we cross paths with the person we were always meant to be with. It just happens. It happens in ways we don’t expect. The less we understand the nature of the world; beneath its roads and infrastructures, the less we see it coming. If we are heavily involved with appearances, with building things and constant creation, I think we start to lose our natural ability to detect natural things. But a balance between these means a pursuit of curiosity, an interest in evolution and preservation with the people and the world. To put it simply, we can get ‘caught up’ in life, and forget to appreciate the natural things.
I don’t question things like love. I believe it’s a phenomenon. An unexplainable, existent phenomenon.
So we don’t know true love when it hits us sometimes, and other times, we just know. We just know, like how birds know to fly south.We feel it somewhere inside. Something connects with someone else and we wonder how we ever lived without them. Something inside us, something living inside of us just knew that it had found a connective piece to itself. Up until that point, it wonders why it felt natural to feel alone and hopeless, because later it realized, there was another half that belonged to it. A piece it did not know ever existed. A piece that create a “one”.
This is why I believe that falling in love is an involuntary act. We can’t stop it from happening if we try. But staying in love is completely voluntary. I used to believe that “the one” was a “happily ever after” story. You find them and you are happy for the rest of your life. But I guess as I grew up, I found that not to be exactly true.
So what’s love? It is a great feeling, and a brilliant warm light– but not without its shadows. Love is happiness and sadness. Love is strength and weakness. Love is the feeling that you can do absolutely anything, and a feeling of being permanently useless to someone. Love is the fuse of every emotion you have. Love can feel like pain. Love can feel like healing. That is the truth.
Not many people find true love. I don’t know why. Maybe they aren’t prepared to hold someone else’s real pain and turn it into their own. Maybe people change because that’s the way they are. But I do believe in true love. I believe that true love is the good and bad kind of love. That it is a choice for us to have it or to leave it. True love is total devotion to someone else. To value that person equally as much as yourself. It is trust that they will do the same for you. It is faith that it is the right thing to do. Falling in love, involuntary. Staying in love, complete choice.
“Love is watching someone die.”
A line from a song. But it’s true. Love is KNOWING that you are going to feel the pain. You are going to see it through to the end. You will do whatever it takes because that person is another half of yourself. That person would do the same for you. No matter how much it hurts.
It’s not selfish to walk away. It takes a lot strength. But maybe it takes even more strength to keep it going. At that moment, in total darkness, it was very clear to me. My soul knew the answer to what I should do. There was never a moment of confusion. I’d hold on to that love that sat in my hand. This is the love that I want.
Love is choice at the end of it all. Who would watch you die? Who would hold your hand through the struggles in your life? Who would get to know you and sit beside you and watch you die? It sounds so dark. But that is what waits for us. You have to decide if that person is worth feeling pain for in the intervals of making you happy.