How good does it feel when someone pays such close attention to you that they know you deeply? When someone GETS you RIGHT. Why does it sting so badly when someone who should know you doesn’t?
I’m no expert, I don’t even have experience in this and yet people have always come to me for advice or just to talk about it. I’m going to do some gloating and say that apparently I am quite good at it. This blog is not meant to be an advice column or saying that this is fact. I am writing this because something decided to spark it in my head as I was working on the blog I wrote a couple of hours ago. This is more of an observance of what I’ve noticed being on the outside looking in. Not going to mention names or dates or anything like that and am going to do my best to write it as if it’s not about a particular relationship or event…..
Love is different for everyone and I’m not going to pretend that I know what that is. This is something we each as individuals have to find out on our own and we’re always going to have that argument of whether it’s harder to find a good man or woman. Write ‘Love’ down on a piece of paper…it’s just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning, gives it depth. So many of us young adults miss out on this because we’re like cows grazing in a field. Loving someone deeply requires time, authenticity and risking profound connection instead of running away from the possibility.
I see so many relationships fall a part so quickly or painfully over the course of a few months and for the most part it’s usually because either side has set themselves up with superficial requirements. Lust and attraction are an important part of loving but there is to much of the surface valued in our culture that we end up blind to seeing what was always there. Lust is short-term, the here and now where love is long-term. This is why we keep getting those ridiculous romantic comedies about how the guy who loves a girl but she loves someone else or vice versa but they end up together at the end because dumbass finally got it registered in their mind. One of the most painful things in life is seeing the one you love, love someone else.
What makes love so special? Two souls becoming one because they took that leap of faith…. The vulnerability one gets when on that verge of love…. Because one day, some person just comes into your life and you give them a piece of you without them even asking for it. Your life isn’t even your own anymore and all they did was smile at you, give you a kiss and as Frank Sinatra says “say something stupid like I love you”. Don’t you hate it when you have something to say but can’t utter the words? Find the courage to tell that special someone how you feel, though I would say avoid using text messaging….that was dumb.
It may seem to you that I’m acting confused
When you’re close to me if I tend to look dazed
I’ve read someplace I’ve got cause to be
There’s a name for it
There’s a phrase that fits
But whatever reason you do it for me
Yeah I totally just used some Tina Turner lyrics but what keeps you from saying what you want to say, what you need to say? The most common answer is fear of rejection. Those words we all hate to hear, “lets just be friends”. In my last blog I said wanting something requires failures, everybody wants love so that goes for this as well. We say we love trees yet we cut them down, we say we love flowers yet we pluck them and yet we wonder why we get afraid when told they are loved…. What if the answer is because you’ve gotten to know someone, know their dreams and you want to see them accomplish that and are afraid of holding them back because of saying something stupid like I love you. (I don’t think ‘I Love You’ is stupid, I just really like that song and Frank Sinatra in general). This takes us back to “two souls becoming one because they took a leap of faith”. Not saying you forget your dreams but you let God speak to you, maybe your journey just takes a different route. Take the film ‘UP‘ for instance, the two kids both have a dream and they grow old together with that dream continuing. Not going to go into more detail about it because you already know it and if you don’t…. WATCH IT!
A common misconception is that always being together is the way it’s supposed to be. We need room to grow as individuals and evolve while respecting the differences and having that honesty. Enjoying each other’s company and each of us doing things that are important to ourselves are important in making there be a future in our relationships. You work hard to earn the easiness but with that being said, not all relationships have to be fought hard for. Sometimes God just puts it right there in front of you and all you have to do is say yes. Then throughout your life together, you keep going after her, you continue to desire her, you fight for her. Woman was taken out of man; not out of his head to top him, nor out of his feet to be trampled underfoot; but out of his side to be equal to him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be loved. Not only do you protect her from others but you protect her from yourself. When you have that someone you know everything about and still want to be with them, someone you are comfortable with, safe with, someone you trust enough to talk to no matter how ashamed you are of it….don’t walk away.