I just had this entire thought go through my head about being distracted from completing the work I am or was wanting to do and it is now all just a bunch of words in my head in no particular order…. and ironically it is being caused by the thing that is distracting me.
I’ve thought for some time now about my future with the career I am now in and about finding someone to settle down with, not necessarily in the near future but at some point, and start a family. About my career, I love the job but on the other hand wasn’t something I had ever dreamed about doing or even thought about doing till my first day on the job. I keep wanting to work on my dream job of being a theatrical writer and eventually having my own production company but I also don’t want it to interfere with my job on hand. I still write when I can and when I have some ideas/visions in mind I make sure to write them down as soon as possible.
But getting to the main purpose of this…. there is this girl. Cliche? Yes. But that’s what it is and whether this is just something that is more of a schoolboy crush or just something that’s being caused by what is going on around me. I’m the oldest in the group of friends that I hang out with, by 2-3 years (which isn’t that big of a deal), but I’ve seen them all go through relationships, short and long or even still going, and have not been in one for as long as they’ve all known me. Dating has never been anything I’ve ever gone out and tried doing. A reason being, I think, is I have given myself this mindset going way back that I want to be financially secured before ever starting a family. So it’s like I’m feeling that the girl I date is the girl I’m going to be with the rest of my life, which I know is what everybody hopes for going into one….. maybe I’m “wrong” on that, but that’s the perspective I have.
I keep thinking of these things that I want to say but once again, I get that distraction and I lose my train of thought.
A funny thing just happened. I’ve had my iPod playing on random for pretty much the entire day so far and as I was writing the last brief sentence above , a Nickelback’s “Gotta Be Somebody” came on with the following opening lyrics….
This time I wonder what it feels like, To find the one in this life, the one we all dream of, But dreams just aren’t enough.